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Proudly presents our hosted entry in...

The 1999 Holiday Fanfic Project

A Very Assassin Christmas

by A Spawn's Kid

This part of the project is hosted by:
Orbital Anomaly at:
www.indigosky.net

DISCLAIMER: The characters appearing in this story are the property of Marvel Comics. They are used without permission, and no profit is being made from their use in this story by the author or the archivist of the story. No harm is intended. Please do not archive this story without express written permission of the author. Feedback is encouraged and appreciated!

Happy merry jolly, and all the best for the new year!

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"See ya tomorrow, Belle," Marie called out from the window of her Christmas-colored car. "Wish I could stay and help but you know how grandmothers can be when dey came three thousand miles to visit." "It okay, Marie. Besides, I can' believe your grandmother came." Belle smiled. "Come on, she's ninety-six." She could actually feel the glare going straight through her. "You have fun. I only got one more thing to do and den I t'unk I'm goin' to bed." "All right." The engine purred as the keys twisted in the assassin's hands. Leaning, out the window Marie waved at her best friend since she was four years old, letting the wave of regret of leaving Belle alone on Christmas Eve pass because she was positive that her friend would be fine and the night was almost out anyhow. "Merry Christmas, Belle," she called out, "and good luck wid dat star." "Merry Christmas, Marie." Belladonna watched as the car seemingly disappeared and sighed as she closed the door. The whole house was decorated as it always had been, even the nativity scene was set up with Mary and Joseph waiting for their son to be born in the two-foot-high manger nestled beside the Christmas tree. All that was left was the star. Belle took it in her hands and stared up at the tree. "Now how de hell I'm I suppose to do dis?" The tree stood scornfully before her and she could almost hear its bristle,evergreen laugh. "I should have gotten dat Charlie Brown lookalike tree instead of dis twenty-foot monster." The plastic eight-inch star appeared so minute in comparison. "Dis would have been a lot easier if Marie hadn' broken de ladder puttin' up de lights." "Dere's got to be a way," she muttered as she leaned back in her chair. "Maybe I can just slide it on." Reaching around she found a long piece of the once ladder and balanced the star on it. "Now all I got to do is nudge it onto de top." Reluctantly, she got up from the comfort of the chair and approached the tree with both star and stick. Belle reached up as high as she could and moved the tip of the tree into the holder and quickly pulled away. The star glimmered. "Dat was easier dan I thought it was gonna be. Now to celebrate like I used to when I was a pup, drink eggnog and watch 'It's A...'" Click. A very small click. Belle glanced up at the star. The lights seemed to sway just a little. Then the star tilted a little bit forward... and fell. "Dat should have been expected. I jinxed myself." She shook her head and glanced back at the tree. She would just have to try something else. After all it was only a tree. "Let's see, I have to get dis up dere, twenty feet high, no ladder and nudgin' wid a stick doesn' work. How else?" Belle could almost hear the space between the tree and the ceiling join in the bristled, evergreen laughter already in progress as time ticked away while she thought. "Dat's it! I'll just attach de star to an arrow and shoot it up dere. It'll be right above de treetop and dere just another room above dis one not de roof or anything like dat. After Christmas, I'll just plaster and repaint. Dis room needs fixin' anyhow." Her father's crossbow fitted perfectly in her hands as she carefully loaded the "star arrow" and aimed. It never crossed her mind that she could miss the shot... ...and she didn't. The arrow struck the ceiling perfectly, hanging the star just above its destination much to her relief. It also never crossed her mind that the star wouldn't stay on the arrow after it struck. "Merde, now I have an arrow in my ceiling and still no star on my tree. Dis family tradition is a lot harder dan I remember it bein'." One of the sides of the star had been flattened by the fall and Belle looked back at the looming mass of green derisive bristles. "You are a worthy adversary, tree," she whispered, "but I will star you. I won't be de first Bordeaux to not have a star on my tree. Christmas might just cease to exist if I broke a tradition like dat." Belle sat beside the manger in quiet contemplation, "Dere has to be a way." The more she thought though the more she could hear three distinct chuckles: one from the arrow, one from the space between ceiling and tree, and one from the tree itself. Shaking her head, she tried to stop the laughter from ringing in her ears. It was all simply impossible. It was just a tree. Frustrated, she got up and started to pace. Each lap she glanced back up at the tree and then continued in her pondering. "Dere's got to be a way, dere's a way for everythin'." Then she could have sworn that the collective laughter merged into one greater and louder laugh than before. "Ceci devient ennuyant. I'm losin' it, it just a tree." One more lap and one more glance, "It just a matter of gettin' it up dere not makin' it straight or nothin'." Belladonna turned the light plastic star sidewise and aimed for the top, "I saw dis in a movie, let see if it really works..." With a flick of the wrist she threw the thing. It gracefully flew through the air. It reached the top of the tree and... ...the tree moved slightly, making the star crash into the wall behind, breaking in two. "Well, looks like Hollywood is grossly inaccurate yet again. Ninja star throwin' does not work. Now I need crazy glue." It was a struggle to pull the little red cap off the glue and even more of one to squeeze it out onto the broken plastic pieces, though by far the hardest part was not gluing her hands together. Sitting beside her window, Belle waited for the glue to dry. Everything seemed peaceful. The river quietly flowed, occasionally breaking against a rock while crickets chirped their evening symphony. Peaceful. Belle quickly glanced at the tree and then returned her attention to the outside world. "You know, X-Men, if you plannin' on comin' down here and bustin' up my Christmas, dis would be de time." She laughed. "Some of you can fly and you could put dis star up dere." She laughed again, this time at herself. "I'm bein' pathetic. I'm one of de world's greatest and most resourceful assassins. I'm leader of de whole Assassins' Guild. I'm smart. I can figure out how de hell am I gonna do dis." Two hours later. "How de hell am I gonna do dis?" Belladonna stared at the tree and then slumped down in her chair in dismay; the old grandfather clock read 11:45. "I have to get dis star on de tree before midnight or Christmas might cease to exist for all I know, but how?" She slid down even further into the chair. "Damn Marie for breakin' de ladder. How can an assassin be so klutzy? I like Christmas, I don' want it to cease to exist." Belle began to rock back and forth. "If I didn' know dat de person who made dis up wasn' dead, den right after de holidays..." She clutched the arms of the chair. This tree was alive and against her. Belladonna narrowed her eyes. "Screw Christmas and de tradition, I'm gonna do it out of pride now." Drawing near the evil green beast, she yelled, "Listen, I don' care if Satan himself made you and I don' care if I have to climb you to do it...dis star is going atop you whether you like it or not. You hear me? Dis star goin' on top you just like when my papa used to do dis!" It was then she launched at her foe and with much of a jingling of bells and a rattling of Christmas balls she got halfway up the abhorrent tree -- and then it began to sway. She made it up another inch before she felt it begin to give way and it was then that Belladonna leapt off...and watched it come crashing down. "Mon Dieu, what have I done?" Belle looked on in horror and then whispered almost ecstatically, "Wait." Running over, she actually laughed as she shoved the star on the grounded green Christmas devil and plugged in the lights. "Victory is mine, tree." With a sigh she dusted herself off and looked over the holiday scene and then at the clock. 11:59. "De world should thank me. Now Christmas can happen and people of all religions can gather together and worship Jesus Christ. Merry Christmas." Walking proudly out of the room she muttered, "Drink my eggnog, God knows I need it, and go to bed." And then she stopped at the doorway and looked back once last time. The garland glimmered in the glow of the blinking lights, bringing her eyes toward the star on the horizontal tree. She shook her head, "Dis has been by far de most childish thing I have ever done. I'm lucky no one heard any of dis, I'd never hear the end of it. Oh well, I guess in de mornin' I'll see how crushed de manger is. Somethin' seems sacrilegious about dat..." she continued up the stairs to her bedroom, exhausted, "...but I t'ink dat de baby Jesus can take it. He is de son of God, after all. "Besides, it doesn' say in de Bible dat dere wasn' a giant tree on de manger."

THE END

	The 1999 Holiday Fanfic Project
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